Chicago Bears at Dallas Cowboys - Week 3, 2016
Date: September 25, 2016
Location: AT&T Stadium (Arlington, TX)
Final Score: Cowboys 31, Bears 17
Weather at Kickoff: Indoors
The Fit: White Jersey / Navy Pants
Vegas Line: +7.0 Bears
Key Notes: This was the official start of the Brian Hoyer era, and let me tell you, watching a Hoyer-led offense is like watching someone try to start a campfire with wet matches. He’ll get a spark eventually, but you’re going to be cold for a long time. Hoyer actually threw for 317 yards, which looks great on paper—the kind of stat line you’d show your boss to prove you were "working" when you were actually just refreshing Twitter. The problem was we had no answer for a couple of Dallas rookies named Dak Prescott and Ezekiel Elliott.
Watching Zeke run through our secondary was like watching a bowling ball hit a set of pins made of damp cardboard. Dallas went up 24-3 before we even realized we were in Texas. We scored some "who cares" touchdowns late to make the final score look like a respectable football game, but don't be fooled—this was a beatdown. My favorite part? We didn't record a single sack. Our pass rush was about as threatening as a "Keep Off the Grass" sign.
See Also: Monsters of the AC? The Bears Surprising Indoor Record
See Also: All Chicago Bears Starting Quarterbacks